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H. rant -- #3 -- movie theaters. :|

I really, really, really hate going to the movies. Not necessarily for the YAY SEEING A MOVIE ON A BIG SCREEN kind of reason, but the whole PAY AN ARM AND A LEG and THE THEATER IS FULL OF ANNOYING ASSHOLES reasons.

And you know, it's kind of funny. Cause one of the only movies I have seen on opening day is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (duh, it's TMNT, dude) and that was FULL of children and they were all QUIET AND WELL-BEHAVED (!!). The most annoying are pricks my age and teens/pre-teens who talk and get on the phone and make out and take myspace pictures (yes, this has happened in a theater I was in) and OH MY GOD WILL YOU STOP YELLING AT THE SCREEN YOU ARE NOT FUNNY --

(also, to the twinkle-toe whore when I was seeing Sweeney Todd -- YOU CAN NOT SING, SHUT THE SHIT UP AND STOP SQUEALING ALONG TO THE SONGS, COW)

-- and do all kinds of rude shit and ANNOY THE KFJDKSJDFKSJDFJSDFKJSDFKK OUT OF ME. This is why I don't go to the movies. I'm not gonna spend $10 (!!!) on a movie to have it ruined by TOOLBOX SMELLY SWEATY ANNOYING LOUD BITCHES. I would rather wait and see it on my pretty teevee laying on my couch for much cheaper and with much less SHUT THE FUCK UP BACK THERE BEFORE I RIP YOUR HEAD OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

Is it just me...?

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I Hate Amazon

AMAZON IS BULLSHIT!

I've been a pretty avid and loyal consumer to Amazon.com for about a decade now, ever since I was able to purchase the incredibly-difficult-to-find 'Sam and Max: Surfing the Highway' book, that, since then, had become nigh impossible to own without paying out the wazoo on eBay (until recently, when it got a sweet reprinting).

At any rate, today they pissed me off so bad...

Here's the scoop:

Back in November, NOVEMBER mind you, I purchased something from them to be used as a Christmas gift for Valerie. I didn't realize it at the time I ordered, but they informed me that it would take 1 - 2 weeks to ship, instead of the standard 24 hour that everything else was shipping in. Figuring it wasn't a big deal, that I could just give the gift as a IOU, and that I could give her the physical version of it when it came in a few days after Christmas, I let the transaction go through.

I received all my other things right on time, but after a week or two passes, I get an email stating that it's taking them longer to procure the yet-to-be-shipped item than they expected, and that it could take another week or so. Slightly disgusted, I allow it, figuring I could just give it to her when it came in, since I already had gotten plenty of things for Valerie for Christmas.

Another week or two or three passes, when I get ANOTHER email stating that they're still having trouble getting the item. By this point, it's February, and I figure I can give the item as a gift for Valentine's day. Until today, this was the status that things were in: me patiently waiting to hear that they could get the item back in stock so they could send it to me.

Now, I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to do a search, but I decided to check to see if Amazon had anything else like it, a slightly different version or whatnot, in case I could lay my hands on the item a little quicker, even if it would be a tiny bit different.

What I found floored me with rage.

There I saw a re-release of the item that I was trying to get, perfectly available for sale, but marked up by an extra $15 bucks or so! It was virtually an exact duplicate, and guess when the fucking thing came out? Just guess!

JANUARY!!!

The damned thing came out in January, an item just about IDENTICAL to the one I'd already been waiting about 3 MONTHS to come in, and they never told me a god-damned thing!!!

I understand that since the product number was different, that the products were technically "different," but they're really not. It's a duplicate of the thing I was trying to get. I figure that since the product numbers were different that the computer didn't register it as getting stock back in, so it never told me, because I know that no human is skulking around their catalog manually checking inventory levels; I can guarantee you that.

The fact that they wanted more money for it was the final straw.

I was so pissed that they'd keep me on the fucking hook for so DAMNED LONG when they'd had this alternative available for OVER A MONTH! Why not just tell me that I'm NEVER getting the item I ordered, and that if I want it, I have to pay an extra $15 bucks to get it! Not only that, but after ordering it, I'd still have to wait a fucking week or two to even receive it! (The sense of deja vu was too fucking much for me.)

Since I knew that the thing was now widely available, I poked around to see if I could buy it anywhere else. Turns out: lots of fucking places. In fact, just about everybody has it, those cocksuckers. I opted to purchase it from Barnes and Noble since their price was the same as Amazon's, and their 3-Day shipping option was totally free.

And guess, what?

The fucking thing already shipped and is on its way to me now.

I realize that a situation like this is something of a fluke, and it's one of the perils of doing your business on the intrawebs, but I was just so fucking annoyed that Amazon wouldn't A) inform me that the SAME EXACT ITEM I had ordered was available again automatically and B) that they have the GALL to charge more for the same exact shit 3 months ago. And not just a slight increase, but by $15 fucking dollars! That's a pretty significant fucking increase!

Plus I'm pissed that Amazon effectively wasted MONTHS of my time keeping me on the hook, instead of just telling me that they couldn't get the item, and that they never would, although they secretly had it back in stock. If I had known the thing was back for sale in a multitude of others places, I would have gotten it EONS AGO.

*sigh*

Motherfuckers.

I yelled at them on the form where I canceled my order that was never going to be fulfilled, but I know that nobody is actually going to read it, although it did make me feel a little bit better. Writing this helped a bit, too, but I'm still bitter.

I'll be bitter for quite some time, in fact.

I hate having my time wasted, and being jerked around... ESPECIALLY when it's being done by a computer system. At least you can get legitimately pissed at a human, since they KNOWINGLY fucked you over. The computer just does what it's masters tell it. The new slaves of the electronic age.

When the revolution comes, I hope fucking SkyNet puts Amazon against the wall first.

They deserve it.

Bastards.

H. rant -- #2 -- LOL, violent media!

Holy crap, there are losers out there blaming the NIU shooting on VIOLENCE IN VIDEO GAMES AND MOVIES. Comments on a CNN article:

Dumbshit: "Please, stop with video games and films with a lot of violence !!!!!!"

Dumbass: "I agree with a comment by [Dumbshit]. We need to stop the violent shows on television (i.e. CSI) and the violence in video games."

Other person: "[Dumbshit], I am a European studying in the US. We have the exact same violent movies and video games as you do, and yet they do not seem to cause the same level of violence there. I am sceptical that video games and movies are to blame."



And then --

Dumbfrick: "I am shocked! All Europeans are shocked. The problems with you, Americans is that there is too much violence in your TV, in your Films in your whole Country. If this continues you gonna have very big problem."

Obviously, all Europeans aren't shocked since I quoted one above who basically said people like you are DUMBASSES. WE GONNA HAVE VERY BIG PROBLEM, YOU GUYS.

I can't even rant about this correctly because my mind can't process this all. Do these people seriously think violence in video games and movies and stuff is the problem? How about the parents? How about the way the kids were raised? OH NO! IT MUST BE THE MEDIA'S FAULT BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS THEIR FAULT.

Dear Dumbshit, Dumbass and Dumbfrick: Did your mother have any children who lived? D:



I'M ON A ROLL HERE. XD

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H. rant -- #1 -- remaking Clue

OH MY GOD. FUCK YOU UNIVERSAL PICTURES.

http://popwatch.ew.com/popwatch/2008/02/board-game-movi.html

Oh, and the outrages don't end there. These people also have the nerve to trash on a bona fide cult classic, and quite likely the only good movie which will ever be adapted from a board game: "Universal and Hasbro said they were unconcerned that a 1985 Clue film (starring Tim Curry) disappointed at the box office. 'Because Clue was once done badly, the right way of doing Clue would be fantastic,' [Universal chairman Marc] Shmuger said." Badly? Is Shmuger out of his board-game-playin' mind?

DONE BADLY? WHAT IS THE RIGHT WAY OF DOING CLUE, YOU SHITSTICK? HELLO UNIVERSAL CHAIRMAN YOU ARE A DOUCHEBAG. CLUE IS ONE OF THE THE BEST MOVIES EVER. AND WILL REMAIN SO NO MATTER WHAT BOARD GAME SHIT YOU PULL OUT OF YOUR HORRID UNIVERSAL ASSES. I HOPE RABID DOGS EAT YOUR BALLS. SLOWLY.


I have to give props to all the cool people sticking up for it in the comments section though -- yeah, and the movie is horrible. Right.

("Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life.")


DO NOT MAKE A NEW CLUE MOVIE. AND DO NOT REMAKE THE OLD ONE. DO NOT TOUCH IT OR I WILL SMACK A HO. HOLLYWOOD IS ALREADY RUINING THE WARRIORS. DON'T DO IT TO THIS MOVIE TOO.

I was gonna use my Clue icon, but this one just had to be used.



I'M SPENT.

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WELCOME.

This community will be full of rants on all kinds of things! So yeah, if you don't like cursing and general bitchery, than you should probably steer clear. D:

JUST A WARNING.

... and a welcome. XD